What do I have to accept
Depending on your current age and the developmental stage you are at right now, the acceptance idea will vary. Boys need to become men, just as girls become women. It is said that alcoholics just maintain the maturity of a person the same as when the alcoholic began drinking. If so we are all well behind the eight ball when it comes to accepting life as it is.
When it comes to halting destructive behavior, though, time is of the essence.
If you realize that you are an alcoholic by any measure or means, it’s time to ACCEPT that you are an alcoholic and this means making a decision.
The original members of Alcoholics Anonymous wrote the AA Big Book in the latter years of the 1930’s. The Step 1 of Alcoholics Anonymous declares that we (the recovered alcoholics) “We admitted we were alcoholics – that our lives had become unmanageable.”
Think about that.
After about 3 years of helping each other remain sober, these original members of AA came to this consensus.
Do you disagree strongly with this as it relates to you?
Can you say it out loud?
How would you change this statement to describe your situation better?
I was well and truly beaten down to a miserable reduction of a man when I was brought to AA’s rooms by my then girlfriend who wanted to save my sorry life.
It was another two and a half years before I got and remained sober. Such is the denial of the suffering addict.
Dr. David Hawkins said, “ People die by their thousands because of pride. They literally give up their health and life itself. Addicts and alcoholics will go to their death because of the denial inherent in pride: “Other people have the problem – not me!”
My reckoning is this. I was so broken by my experiences and relationship with the world that my best SOLUTION to my existential problem was drinking. I was dependent on alcohol – the thing that was killing me. It’s a type of Stockholm Syndrome.
Powerless and unmanageable
I had lost all personal power to do what I wanted to do. My head said stop, but the body needed to drink. St. Peter said, “The Spirit is willing but the Flesh is weak.” (Matthew 26:41)
What to do? I could not manage to stop and the thing I need to stop doing was killing me.
[At this stage you may protest that your drinking isn’t THAT bad. Please test yourself again and again. Do you want this to get any worse before it gets better? If you are an alcoholic of any description now, then it will get worse and then it will kill you.]
I can do it
It is simple but not easy.
When my girlfriend Cathy dragged me to AA I had been very sick for some time. Still, intellectually I knew that I could fix whatever was wrong with me.
Surely vitamins, exercise, willpower, and drugs could turn this around.
I read some books from the library about people who had turned their life around from addiction to good health and sanity via self-motivation and determination. I will do that too.
Begrudgingly I went to that first meeting to prove her wrong.
However, two outstanding things happened.
- I liked the meeting and the 12 Steps
- I couldn’t get sober even with AA’s meeting and program.
Something remained a mystery to me for two and half more years. It was spoken about but I never heard it until March 9th, 2018.
I needed other people and to turn my will over to the care of a power greater than me.
This simple recognition was elemental in my recovery I believe. It was simple – but not easy. From that day, the Obsession to drink and the Compulsion to drink more has slowly left me.
If you like the feel of this article and are thinking you would like to give sobriety a go, try my FREE 5 part course, “Stop Drinking – Start Living”
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