If you are not an Australian Male alcoholic and you’re not sure what those last two words are, try saying them fast and out loud with your best Aussie accent.
There you go!
I’ve been listening to the Voices in my head for as long as I remember. Probably longer!
I guess they represent all the lessons I’ve learned…or perceived.
When I got attention as a baby for a certain behaviour or a shriek at a specific pitch, I might have said to myself, “Mike, you should definitely do that again!”
Then, when I went to school and the other kids didn’t like me if I poo’ed my pants, I most certainly said to myself, “Mike, it’s best if you only poo your pants at home from now on.”
Now that I’m older, My Voices say, “Mike only shit your pants when you’re at home!”
Typically, this evolution of the social human continues ad nauseum for the rest of your human life. It’s the social equivalent of learning to walk on two feet.
“ Although students don’t get grades on social tests from their teachers, their peers are constantly giving them “grades” on “social tests” every day. If a child does well on these “tests”, he is apt to be well liked and happy.” (cdl.org)
If you read my post from yesterday you may have guessed I am re-reading Brene Brown’s best seller, “Daring Greatly”.
She has been co-responsible for a major portion of my emotional growth since I gave up the booze 10 years ago. I recommend her Sounds True video course if you are serious.
Anywho, I was reading about the myths we have about Vulnerability and I said to myself, “Fuck Youse”, but in my colloquial vernacular it’s “Fuk Yez”, or “Fuk Yuz”, I can’t decide.
I decided right then that this will be my Calling Card and mantra.
One of the things I have had a lot of trouble with is pleasing people. We call people like me, “People Pleasers”.
It’s not a term of endearment.
In the disease model of alcoholism, it’s a symptom of a larger malaise that got us drinking in the first place.
So when I decided that “Fuk Yuz” was my new catch cry, my Voices started making noises. “Oh NO!”
“What are the nice people going to think?”
“You offend the Christians!”
Your Father wouldn’t approve!”
What if your Sisters read this?”
If you identify with this train of thought…which by the way isn’t YOU speaking but The Voices, then we’re friends and my business is to talk this out for your benefit and mine.
I’m sick of the nice people, hypocritical Catholics (not that you all are!), My deceased Dad, and my family mores dictating the way I think or act.
I can’t use my drug of choice anymore, so I have to live in the world without that medicine.
I certainly can’t live the way I was because that lifestyle and ‘mindstyle’ is only possible with copious amounts of alcohol and drugs.
Even distractions like TV, Social Media, pornography and gambling, all of which are rife in our culture are ‘drugs’ of sorts that alleviate the stress of living under an imaginary microscope in the Big Societal Laboratory.
Don’t you ever feel like a Lab Rat?
This week I have started a Community of Happy People, who can share ideas of getting over, getting by, and getting on with a life less ‘normal’.
I have dodged the ads on Facebook and the pace of Twitter and set this Community in Google+.
It’s small now but I hope we can all help each other a lot and build something Happy, Joyous and Frickin’ Awesome.